can you become a sex store shopaholic?

Bast and I hit the city’s sex shops today with a vengeance, and saw SO many things we’d like to get. I tried diligently to take it easy on my debit card. I had moderate success with this. It’s just that there’s so much fun stuff out there! It’s hard to keep my hands and pocketbook away…
New purchases: a good leather blindfold to complement the bondage set I’ve put together. I also ended up selling the bondage set I bought this week to Bast, and picking myself up a proper set with four cuffs and two tethers, as it should be… <grin>
I also picked up three new books – a collection of erotica about bondage, Consensual Sadomasochism (OK so I’m curious!) and a book about women and pornography.
Lastly, Bast and I rented some porn in our never-ending quest for quality porn. We watched one tonight called Shane’s World Volume II. It was a little better – at least you could tell the women were really having orgasms – but I’ve got to say, the cum shot at the end of each scene just does nothing for me. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love to swallow. But watching men cum all over the women’s mouths and chins…. just not getting me juiced up. I’ve been told that men are very aroused by this shot – I wish I knew why!
One excellent scene was a series of “instructions” to men on how to arouse a woman, how to touch her pussy, and how to lick her properly… Excellent. And since the “course” was given by women, it was utterly believable and right-on the money.
Now, of course, after all this shopping and thinking and porn watching, I’m in a rather squirmy state. Wonder if I have a toy quiet enough to not wake up Bast (she’s sleeping in the next room)?

shopping extravaganza, continued

First, let me report back about the “Slim Line Massager” vibrator I picked up yesterday. Yay me! ๐Ÿ™‚ I think we can safely say I like it. The porno got a little better, too, near the end… or maybe that was just because I was imagining dark eyes watching me as I slid my new toy in and out.
I promised to update on the books I picked up yesterday. Thanks to a batch of Chapters gift certificates (thanks Mom) I got a bundle of books.
First book: The Guide to Getting it On. Now, normally my response to this would be something like “I need another guide to sex like I need another hole in the head”. But I was very very impressed by their sample chapter online, The Zen of Finger Fucking, and have heard nothing but good reviews about the book. So I picked it up – ostensibly to do a review, but maybe I’ll find some new ideas within. You never know.
Also picked up Maggie Paley’s Book of the Penis, which looks like a great deal of fun. It’s a total historical and social look at the penis. I’ve said it before: if I can’t have one right now, I might as well read about it! <grin>
Other finds included Real Live Nude Girl by Carole Queen, a very sex-positive look at all different kinds of sex. Also Woman: An Intimate Geography by Natalie Angier, which according to Libida is “An exuberant celebration of the female body, blending scientific fact, evolutionary theory and personal anecdote.” Sounds like fun. And finally, picked up a new XLibris smut book. Don’t recall the name.
In all, yesterday was a GREAT and fun shopping trip (and I’m normally not a big fan of shopping). Can’t wait to try out those new bondage cuffs…

a shopping extravaganza

Well, it took me an extra day longer than I’d expected, but I did manage to hit the sex shops today. Had a blast doing it, too, though I was disappointed by my search for hot leather clothing. It seems that women who wear sizes larger than size 6 are not sufficiently skinny enough to wear leather – at least according to Seduction. Every item they carried began at size 2 and ended at size 6. So the leather hunt continues. The good news is I did manage to figure out what kind of styles I wanted, so when I see them in a size not made for twigs, I’ll know what I like.
What goodies did I splurge on?
Well, I picked up a new vibrator – oddly enough made by the same people who made the Space Explorer Vibe. Actually, not so odd at all; I figured if their little bullet was strong enough to make me scream then a full-length vibrator should be double the fun! It has the same five speeds, and you know if you keep your eyes peeled you’ll see another review from me sometime soon on the subject.
Also picked up a little bondage kit with two cuffs (for some reason I thought it came with four, which means I have to go out and pick up another set of cuffs now – sigh – my work is never done!) and two adjustable length tethers. Yum. Oh, the daydreams I had walking down Yonge Street with these babies in my bag. These are just going to be fun, fun, fun!Also picked up a new bottle of lube – I finally decided to splurge on a bottle of Eros. It’s a silicone-based lube that just feels like sex. And best of all, it rarely dries up, doesn’t get sticky, just provides smooth lovin’. It was expensive, but this stuff is so potent it should last me a loooong time.
Saw the cutest little magnets at The Condom Shack – one says “Just Smile and say: ‘Yes Mistress'”. The other reads: “It’s better to have loved & lost than to live with the psycho for the rest of your life”.
Hilarious. I had to pick them both up on principle.
As the shopping continued, I decided to try once again to buy decent porn. Everything I’ve read suggests that Candida Royalle’s line of porn is great and less silicone-y than the rest. So I bought one. Got home, popped it in, dammit. There’s another thirty bucks I’ll never see. I don’t know if I’m ever going to find good porn. Bast suggested to me I start filming my own. If I had some cash, that wouldn’t be a bad goddamned idea. I asked her if she’d be willing to star. No such luck. Sheesh. I thought that was what friends were for!
Bought lots of books too. Will update on those tomorrow!

tired, stuffed and wiser

Back from the land of dysfunctia (otherwise known as my parents’ place) and so very VERY happy to be back in the big city. When three different cabbies cut me off as I drove through the city to my apartment, I wanted to get out and kiss them. I’m feeling a little like Dorothy when the world turns black and white again and everything is as it should be back in Kansas.
I checked under the tree as soon as I got to my parents’ place to see if Santa had made a little delivery boo-boo and accidentally left the Muse waiting for me under their tree instead, but some things were not meant to be. Damn. I really had some fun plans for that big red bow. ๐Ÿ™‚
I managed to avoid the ex-lesbian-lover’s male roomate most of the holiday (bliss). Of course, this is because my mom is convinced that Christmas is actually a form of slavery for women. And she likes it that way. To be spared the unending guilt that would come from leaving her on her own to cook meals over the past two days big enough to feed two hundred people, I helped. This essentially meant shackling myself to the stove and sink for the past two days. I’m not a huge fan of cooking even in small doses, though sometimes it’s fun… but two days straight of peeling and chopping and mixing and stirring and arranging and washing dishes and re-filling glasses and mugs of coffee and trays of goodies has left Vikki one very tired little girl.
And as I suspected, it’s the promise of tomorrow’s sensual shopping spree that kept me from slashing my wrists through unending refrains of “oh, is that how you cut the cheese? I always do it this way…” and “oh, I thought you would at least put a few doilies on the tray before adding the goodies” with extra-special choruses of “here, let me show you how I normally stir this”.
My mom, like all moms, can be deadly annoying. But we did manage to have some good talks, not the least of which about that period in her life when she changed from Cosby-mom to the lesbian version of Tina Turner. I had a real hard time as a kid dealing with those changes in her life, and it caused a rift between us that even once mended was pretty tough to discuss. But this holiday we talked about it and for the first time I understood a little better the place she was at in her life, and why she needed to do the lesbian thing for a while. It was an identity crisis writ large, having a great deal to with with sexual identity but also just her identity as a woman. She’d submlimated her identity for the roles of wife and mother for so long that it just kind of came bursting out of her at the end of my teenage years. I understood all too well because the last eight months have been the same for me – all about identity, sexual and otherwise. Finding out who I was.
It made me feel closer to her than I’ve felt in a very long time. It was one of the nicest Christmas presents I’ve ever received.

off to the land of dysfunctia

Woke up this morning at 4:45 AM just like a kid. Unlike a kid, I had to have the help of a very loud, very annoying alarm clock to accomplish this. This is what happens when you put off driving to your parents’ home until Christmas morning. But despite the early hour, it’s preferable to adding more hours of visiting time to my holiday-with-parents bonanza. Trust me.
Santa didn’t come last night. I know this because when I woke up this morning I checked all over the living room, but the Muse was nowhere to be found. Damn. And here I was hoping that he’d be sitting on my couch with a big red bow and nothing else. Doesn’t that old guy from the North Pole listen? I guess there are some things even Santa can’t make happen. Sigh.
I am a quick shower and a few minutes of last-minute packing away from heading off to the land of dysfunctia. This year’s guest list is my dad, my mom, her ex-lesbian-lover, and the ex-lesbian-lover’s younger male roommate. I will be spending the next two days avoiding him since he’s got an enormous crush on me. Which would be SO much easier if my parent’s apartment was even a little bit bigger.
I just keep reminding myself of the sensual shopping spree. This and this alone will get me through. The sex shops in this city won’t know what hit ’em when I get back in town. ๐Ÿ™‚
Merry Christmas, everyone!

bored for the holidays? try this

Missionary style just not cutting it for you anymore? Try Sexual Positions Free.
Cute site, I had some fun looking through it. Some of these looked very familiar, some just painful or radically awkward.
What positions do you like?
For me, I do love doggy style (I think I’ve mentioned this before). It’s a very deep penetration and really an ideal position for real “fucking”. It also provides great access to the clit for either the man or the woman to play with, but frankly I prefer the man’s hands on my ass as he pushes into me from behind.But when I have greater affection or love for the person, I also enjoy more intimate positions. Call me a wild and outlandish traditionalist (can those words really go together?) but I love missionary style, with my legs wrapped around his waist. Could be because I love long, slow kisses while having sex, and this is one of the best positions to achieve those kisses. It’s also because that position allows me to wrap myself around him, arms and legs both. It’s just the most intimate position there is.
I also enjoy woman on top, though I enjoy it more if I’m leaning over him or pressed body-to-body. Even after all these years, I’m a little self-conscious about leaning back and my entire body being on display. No matter what you do, years of poor body self-image can rub off on a person I guess.
Spooning is something I’d like to try more of – I haven’t really tried this position very often. But it looks fun.
Sitting at my desk typing this, I’m peeking out of the corner of my eye at a single delicate red rose. It was a gift from the Muse a few days ago. It squeezes my heart to look at it.
Exchanged gifts with Bast over the weekend, and true to form, she’s delighted me with a new sensual gift – my very own riding crop. There’s nothing better than friends who give sex toys as gifts. Well, other than friends who give sex as gifts, but Bast and I don’t swing that way. ๐Ÿ™‚
I’m off tomorrow morning to visit my parents for the holidays. Ugh. That may be horrible of me to say, but dysfunctional families have that effect on me. Especially my own. The good news is that when I get back to the city I fully intend to treat myself to a sensual shopping spree – a new toy or two, maybe some lingerie, who knows what else. It will be the promise of that shopping spree that will get me through the next few days.
Happy holidays to all my readers – go snuggle up with someone you lust for!

the ultimate fantasy gift?

Stopped in to Sexilicious for my weekly dose, and ran across an article that piqued my interest about the Ultimate Fantasy Gift from Victoria’s Secret.
Well, I had to go and take a look, didn’t I?
First of all, the idea of spending 15 MILLION dollars (US, no less… which is like 25 million up here in Canada) on a bra and panty set seems a little extravagant even for me… and no one could ever accuse me of not liking things on a champagne budget.
Yeah, you read that right. Fifteen million dollars. Don’t believe me? Go take a look.
The entire set is made out of jewels. Over 300 carats’ worth of Thai rubies, to be exact, mixed in with some semi-precious stones and diamonds.
Looking at this set, many questions come to mind:

    Can you imagine taking out insurance on your bra and panties? How would you explain this to the insurance guy?
    As the article on Sexilicious asks, how on earth do you WASH this set? I’m betting “Forever New” never had this in mind when they made their lingerie wash.
    Even if you could bear to cover it up, how would you find a dress that didn’t snag against the jewels?
    Can you imagine what your profile would look like in this, clothed? People might think you’re a leper – all those bumps and crannies instead of a nice smooth bustline!
    In the name of good hygiene: the web site states the bra and panty set are one-of-a-kind. But that other model has already worn the panties! Ewww.

You know, even if I did know a man rich and generous enough to buy such a thing, I’ve got to say there are SO many better things he could buy me with 15 million dollars. Hell, I’d even take the cash.

all those in love with the penis, say aye!

It all began with The Book of the Penis (written by Maggie Paley). While doing some online shopping, I ran across this book, which Dan Savage (Savage Love) said “should be required reading for anyone who has a penis, wants a penis, or loves someone who has or wants a penis”. Well, I certainly fit into that group! It’s a little bit of everything you ever wanted to know about the penis. I want this book. Sometimes I get a little quirky like that – if I can’t have one right now, okay, okay, I’ll just read about it. ๐Ÿ™‚
Got me thinking about other penis-centric resources online. What would my little mouse and I be able to find?
First stop: What a charming site. All kinds of info on size, shape, circumcision, enlargement, condoms, masturbation and much, much more. A virtual feast of penis information.
Next stop: Images of Size. If you’ve ever been curious about the varied sizes and shapes available but unwilling to do your shopping in person, this is a great little gallery. Hundreds of images of all kinds of penii. You need AdultCheck to get into the real goodies though.
Getting more personal: All About My Penis. It’s a detailed and intimate look at all different aspects of one man’s penis – from size, to libido and arousal, to all types of sexual behavior (with partners and without), and a great little humour area as well. Bravo to the man brave enough to put all this out there.
Not to leave women in the cold, as it were: Both Images of Size and All About My Penis have female counterpart sites. The Secret Joy of Woman has hundreds of clit and vagina pictures (you should SEE the size of one of these clits – it’s almost the size of one of the smaller penises from the men’s site!) but again, you’ll need AdultCheck to really enjoy the experience. And finally, All About My Vagina is the female version of All About My Penis, with even more detailed information available – one woman’s account of her vagina, from orgasms to fur to dryness to smell and more topics, frankly, than you’d ever come up with on your own. Bravo to her bravery.
Check these sites out. They should keep you entertained for quite some time.

a sex and the city feast

Dating – more than one man, even – does not guarantee you won’t end up spending Saturday night alone on the couch. It’s okay, though, since I didn’t really actively pursue setting anything up for tonight. I poured myself a glass of wine, turned all the Christmas lights on, and cracked open my birthday gift (thanks Mom) – the entire first season of Sex and the City. After five episodes, I’m feeling a little more neurotic than usual. It’s the “single woman dating in the big city” thing.
I love Samantha. I’ve been able to have a few sexual escapades in the last decade or so that mirror hers, and at least a few times where I’ve been able to “fuck like a man” – just enjoy the pleasure, and not worry about if I’m going to get a phone call or not. I just don’t do it as well or as often as she does. For a short time in my life, I’d love to be able to carry it off as regularly as Sam, with even half the aplomb.
Thing is, I identify with Carrie. I’m not quite 30 -yet – and okay, I don’t exactly share her penchant for $400 stilettos and funky outfits, but we’re a lot alike. We think about sex and relationships – a lot – and write, though she’s paid better than I for the job! We make the same classically stupid mistakes time and time again with men. We both have a tendency to weaken when it comes to great sex, dark eyes, and unavailable men (or any combination thereof).
I also find Carrie’s life uncannily mirrors mine. Early in this year’s season, she had a nightmare of a blind date… when I found myself going through almost as nightmarish a time the exact same week. When I find myself thinking a great deal about past failed relationships, don’t I just tune in to see her examining the exact same things? Strange but true.
When she finds herself unbearably drawn to Big, even though he’s married and emotionally unavailable, there are uncomfortable quasi-parallels in my own life that are just easier not to think about. I still watch the show, though, even though it makes me squirm. It’s always so much easier to watch someone else’s life (on screen or off) and say… “What are you doing? Get the hell out of there while you still can, girl!” than it is to put your own house in order.
When she finds herself dating and just enjoying being single, I can also relate… sometimes it’s nice to be a single girl in the big city without the worries of heavy-duty emotional stuff.
Maybe I tune in just to see if she’s ever going to get her shit together when it comes to men.
She won’t, of course – it’s a TV show, after all – but I also think to some degree it’s also just life. Do women every really relax and stop being neurotic about men completely?And on that Sex-In-The-City-like note, I’ll leave you for the night…

the most romantic scene ever

When most people discuss the most romantic movie scene ever, they usually mention scenes from Casablanca, From Here To Eternity, or more modern movies with men like Mel Gibson, Sean Connery or the like in the starring role.
As usual, I tend to be a little different. My entire life, one scene has had the power to sweep me away, make me cry, warm my heart, and make me dream like a schoolgirl all over again. It’s the love scene in The Sound of Music, when a younger and dapper Captain Von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) declares his love for Maria (Julie Andrews).
The look in his eyes when he moves to kiss her in the moonlit gazebo… sigh.To just once, stand in a moonlit gazebo and live that moment.
I do wonder, though, about their future. If the movie continued on past the ending we’re all accustomed to seeing, how would their sex life be? I mean, yes, the movie was made ages ago when everything was all about romance and not sex. But honestly, after all her time spent in the Abbey, can you honestly see Maria, her legs spread in a V and pushed up against her shoulders, Captain Von Trapp in all his naked splendour pounding away between her thighs? I think she’d be shocked. Can you imagine the look on her face if he slid his lips down her belly and began to lick between her thighs? I dissolved in a fit of giggles thinking about this, enough to ruin the rest of the film (which honestly, I don’t like as much anyway).
Sometimes I think that’s a problem we all grapple with. The separation of love and lust. In men, it’s called the Madonna/Whore syndrome. Women are far from immune to the problem, though. For some people, sex is sex and love is love, and it can be hard to breach the gap between. My marriage, I think, suffered from something along these lines. He loved me very much – and at the same time couldn’t imagine being sexual with me. In time, I ended up having the same division in my head, though not quite as extreme.
The real problem with this division is it implies you have to choose. Choose whether love or sex is most important to you. During the year I struggled to decide whether to leave my husband, this was the decision I felt I had to make. In the end, I chose sex – but there was more to it than that.
I chose to try and find a situation in which I could have both love and sex. I knew I could not have them with him. I decided that I wanted it all.
Greedy little thing, aren’t I? <grin>
Don’t worry. I’m just saving myself for Christopher Plummer. Or I would be if he wasn’t so damned old now! ๐Ÿ™‚