Of all the descriptors I’ve heard recently, this is one of the best. Sasha says in her Love Bites column:
You have no doubt already met boys who get very nervous and upset if you don’t come. You just tell them you’re not a Nintendo game. Remember: it’s your body, and it’s your orgasm, and you’ll get to it in your own time.
More boys could benefit from this, which is why I thought I’d share.
I feel bad for men, really I do. Women’s bodies and sexual functions are such mysteries, by comparison. What works one time will not neccessarily work the next. What turns her on today may bore her or gross her out tomorrow. We have these bodies where all sexual things are hidden and soft and secret, where the rules are written by these invisible things called hormones, where orgasms are these elusive things that everyone knows we should have but sometimes we can’t even give ourselves one.
Men can’t help but have trouble understanding this. When was the last time a man you know had trouble giving himself an orgasm (when he wasn’t several sheets to the wind)?
No wonder there is rampant confusion.
I remember a time when a former lover told me that I was masturbating too often (every day, every other day, something like that) and that I would “use up” my orgasms, leaving me with nothing to share with others. As though I had a daily quota that, once filled, would render me useless to the opposite sex. 🙂
So, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, I offer this corollary to Sasha’s statement:
Think of making love with a woman as a Choose Your Own Adventure Book. At different points along the way, you have choices to make, and part of the fun is knowing that the story will never end the same way twice. Sometimes you’ll find riches, and sometimes you won’t. The fun is the adventure between the covers. Not the ending.