Dear diary (and all you wonderful perverts out there who read this diary):
Well, it is the last day of the year, and I have resolved to make next year a wonderful, salacious, unh-filled celebration of all that is good and naked and naughty.
To that end, my resolutions…
- Will obviously lose 20 lbs. Preferably via long walks with the puppy, as much aerobic sexual activity as I can manage to extract from every single day and special protein shakes drunk straight from the font.
- Always put last night’s panties in the laundry basket. Unless someone luscious would like to sniff them – in which case I may leave them draped over his cock for an additional day.
- Will find naughty dominant boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: workoholics, commitment-phobics, emotional fuckwits.
- Will keep my heart and thighs open, however, to all of the following: sexaholics, bi-curious, perverts.
- Will especially stop fantasizing about the men in my life I cannot have or who do not want me.
- Learn one new sexual technique a month designed to make any man – even the silent ones – moan in ecstasy. Practice faithfully until I can execute flawlessly.
- Learn how to enjoy receiving oral sex. (As an aside, exactly how do you explain this to a partner?)
- Get spanked. As often as my naughty little self requires it.
Happy New Year, all!