I look at him now, and he blushes. If I tease him about his wants, his desires, his hard cock, his delicious whimpering… He hides. Blushes. Grows shy. Covers his face.

He doesn’t put it on. This is true vulnerability coming to the surface, vulnerability he’s never let me see because he always “had” to be the one in charge. But I see it now.

It’s unbelievably delicious. I wish that I could explain why it’s so delicious. It is shocking, the mental and physical reaction I get when he is embarrassed and turned on and squirmy and soft and demure.

The mental: realization that he’s feeling shy, embarrassed, small, dominated. A burst of happy, followed by excitement, the realization all over again that he’s mine to play with now, mine to fuck with, stretch on a rack of emotional and mental and physical arousal. I grow bigger, mentally, more aware of my role, more aware of the power I wield. And I want it. And want him. All deliciously tangled up together.

The physical: the excitement leads to a jump in my chest as I realize how I’m affecting him. Subtly, my body changes – my gaze even more direct, my shoulders straighter, my body more languorous. I feel like a tiger stretched out, relaxed, but with all the power in the world at my fingertips if I need it. He gets smaller, hunches his shoulders, looks down, and I get that lovely hard aching throb between my thighs. It beats. I hum.

It makes me want to grip the back of his neck and hold him down. Makes me want to soothe him by holding him between my breasts. It makes me want to curl him naked on the bed and come up behind him and cover him with bites, make him moan and whimper and

I like it when he is shy. It is a revelation to me.

One thought on “shy”

  1. Wow, I just noticed that this blog came back to life last year, after years going quiet since 2007. I’m so glad to see that, I had wondered what had happened. It’s been quiet for a year now, but I hope you’ll still post once in a while and that you look at the comments. The new direction in your life is interesting and I’m happy for you. I don’t really know anything about DS but I’ve heard it said that the best tops are those who know how to be bottoms.

    I just found a couple old comments I posted in your “losing my virginity” entry. January 2004. My god how time flies.

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