herdesires - diary - married men

diary: married men

The panties say "I've been naughty" on the front, and "Spank Me" on the back.

I'd like several pairs, please. ;)

I am finding myself increasingly depressed by what I've been finding in the kinky personals. Married men. By the bucketful, really. Even though my profile clearly states I'm not interested in married men.

I wish I were, you know. I wish I could just push away the guilt and have a good randy time, because some of them are adorable, and intelligent, and well-spoken, and horny.

It's not some big moral thing on my part - I've been with men who were involved before. And that's precisely why I don't want to do it again. It's too hard. No matter how hard I try not to, I live with the fear that I'll get a phone call one day from The Wife.

A lot of my attitudes changed as my own marriage was coming to an end. Because The Ex gave me cart-blanche to see other men, fuck other men, about a year before we broke it off. And I just couldn't do it. I did try, one night.

I met a perfectly lovely Latin man in a bar one night while out with some friends. He was sexy, he had a delicious accent, a hard body, danced like the devil, and made me want to sin so bad my knees were weak. And when he touched me and moved me around the dance floor every cell in mo body sat up and sang.

He leaned over and kissed me. It went on and on. The first kiss since I'd met my husband years before. Sexy and wet and wanting and everything I'd been missing with my husband.

He wanted me to go to a hotel with him. And I so wanted to. The man was practically every wet dream I'd had. But I couldn't do it.

To go home with him meant I'd given up on my marriage. And maybe I was getting close to that point. But I couldn't do both - have sex with this man, and still hold out hope for my marriage. Either I was working on one, or working on the other. Having your cake and eating it too is just not something that works for me.

So, I continue with the search. Wish me luck. :)

2003.12.21 11:06 AM
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comments on this entry

Good luck! Its sometimes annoying to know what you want, but how much better than not knowing!

— posted by: Dgou on December 22, 2003 11:27 AM

Married men have the same thoughts as you. In thier sexless marrage they feel unloved and ugly/ unf%$kable.
After mastubating for a few years they are like "what if instead of my hand it was another womans hand" I still love my wife, but wacking off is just no fun anymore.
so they think about a surroget (sp).
I would never want to live in another house than my kids and wife, it is my home and I need that, but sometimes I can't sleep because I am troubled by my lust. I have tryed praying, working, drinking but the passion does not subside. It burns in my soul until I can release it. Usually my wife is helpful but sometimes she just can't, it can become a chore for her. week after week day after day, the constant craving, She would be happy to get a break. Some men want to hurt thier wifes and use cheating as a way to get back at them without reprocussions. but for others they just need some sugar.

— posted by: mark on January 20, 2004 9:44 AM

Funny Mark - Your wife certainly didn't see our lovemaking as a "chore" ... she told me that you never learned how to please her. She had so much passion locked inside her - too bad you missed out!

— posted by: Tom on May 12, 2004 4:10 AM