randomness

Have you ever wondered if the snake that enticed Eve to eat the apple in the first place, thereby causing the destruction of man and humanity’s exile from paradise, was actually Adam’s randy penis in the first place? How would history have changed if this were true? (In point of fact, of course, this may very well have been true… since men wrote history.) Alas, we’ll never know.
Ever since, that one-eyed snake has been a source of curiousity for women. I suppose that’s maybe one reason why lesbians have it a little easier. They know what it feels like when someone licks your nipple. They know what it feels like when someone rubs your clit or slides a finger inside you. We straight gals, by comparison, are still in the dark here.
I would love to know what it feels like when you feel a tongue licking delicately at the head of your penis, or when a woman slides her mouth over you and wraps you in that warm and wet vacuum. Or what it feels like when someone pours oil over you and slides you between her hands, rubbing in small circles and long pulls. I find myself wondering these things – and more – when I am with a man. Not that I actually want to have a penis in order to find out, mind you. I would just love to know how it feels. To have that insider’s instinct into what would feel great, and when.
Even after all these years, and a decent amount of experience, men’s bodies are still such a mystery to me.
After reading about the closing of Europe’s first brothel for women, I’ve been doing some thinking. Would I ever go to a brothel, if one existed around here? Gosh, I’d love to give a resounding yes to that question, but the truth is it would depend. If it was even a little bit seedy, a little bit neon gaudy, I’d say no. But I’ve often fantasized about opening up such a place for women. And my vision is anything but gaudy.
It would be high-class, like a very expensive spa. Marble floor entrance and very, very discreet. Filled with rooms not only tasteful and elegant, but perhaps also themed rooms (Egyptian, Sheik’s Tent, you get the idea). All decorated to the nth degree, no expense spared. World-class food and drink available from the finest chefs and wineries in the world. And filled with beautiful men but men who were also intelligent, well read, and trained very well in the art of lovemaking. Trained to understand body language and also to understand women’s minds and needs. Exclusive, like a club. I guess something similar to the brothel in the novel Butterfly by Kathryn Harvey.
It’s a decadent thought, really. Being able to go some place where your every need, every wish could be satisfied by a man only too happy to please. A place to relax and not worry and just generally indulge yourself.
Ahh. Well, the dream is still nice. 🙂

renting porn

I’ve rented porn sporadically for the past, oh, ten years or so. I’m not what you’d call a heavy consumer – I rent less than five movies a year, in general – but I do occasionally enjoy porn. More so since I found gay male porn, which is about a million times better than hetero porn, as I’ve said before.Why don’t I rent more? A few reasons. Money. Lack of quality porn. But the biggest reason is: discomfort with the entire renting process.
Generally, I’ve seen far more men renting porn, and also more men behind the counter willing to rent it to you. And this is uncomfortable for me, though I do it anyway. Because men are still, even in this day and age, creepy about a woman renting porn. Particularly if she’s renting alone. They leer. They raise their eyebrows. They are far more likely to read the titles aloud, comment on them, when you take the films to the counter. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes me feel a little less safe. Nothing specific I can put my finger on. Just less safe.
All of this came back to me this morning as I heard about this abduction in the local news. When a guy with a semi-automatic entered an adult video store, he decided he wasn’t just going to rob the place – he took the sole female customer and abducted her as well. She’s missing.
There. Now I can put my finger on it.
How crazy is it that in this new millenium I as a woman fear rape simply by renting a video? Yes I know that’s silly. Believe me. I know that this type of thing doesn’t happen all the time. I know that usually, men in a video store are no more likely to be prone to rape than any other man walking down the street, eating a sandwich in a restaurant, buying shampoo at a store. But still.
I would just like to feel safer when renting porn. Hmm. Since I like gay porn so well, perhaps I should check out gay video stores instead. No hetero men to give me the heebie jeebies.
What I really wish is that I could just make the heebie jeebies go away. I’ll work on it. And until then, I’ll follow this story in the news and keep you updated.

what’s sexy?

There are eternal favourites of mine, of course. Seeing naked skin (my own, someone else’s – it doesn’t matter) in soft lighting. Someone kissing the back of my neck. Or the back of my knees. Eating food from someone else’s fingers. Music that reaches you in places down deep, like Morcheeba. Surreptitious naughty touching in a public place.Intelligence, too, is a powerful turn-on. I was talking with my girlfriends the other day about how we absolutely must see the new Russell Crowe movie. He’s sexy enough as it is. Add to that an impressive intelligence (i.e. the character he plays in A Beautiful Mind) and he is truly irresistible. One of the sexiest things I can do with a man is debate – heated, mostly intelligent debate. The men in my life (for the most part) who have turned me on the most are those I can fight with. Not real fighting. You know what I mean.
Other things drive me even higher. Power exchange, the magic words. Having someone take control, totally and completely. Being forced to talk while being aroused. Having pleasure harnessed and given out in short little spurts. Teasing. Being teased. Bondage.
But for me, sex happens mostly in the mind. You’ll notice there’s not a lot of outright sexual activity in the list above. For years I tried to shut my mind off when making love. I think too much. I thought it was a bad thing. But for me, at least, it’s not. Turning off my mind during sex would be like putting the car in neutral while driving. It just doesn’t work that way. My mind is what identifies those sexy things. It is the part of me that craves them in the first place, over and over like the id, until I’m either overloaded or completely satiated. Either way, happy little me.
I don’t know if other women are the same way. But for me, making effective love to me means making love to my mind. Making sexy love to me means hitting my mental pressure points over and over until I’m dazed, crazed, aroused beyond measure. Luckily I have hundreds of them (only a short list above; the whole list would bore you to tears).What turns you on?

sex and violence?

Okay, this entry shall come with a warning:

If you are a television snob (read: you love the Simpsons but eschew teen shows) you might as well walk on by.

I have a secret confession to make. I’m addicted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And I mean seriously addicted. As in taping the show, owning all the episodes I can buy on video… you get the idea. That’s neither here nor there, I suppose, but when Salon decided to discuss the way the show deals with sex, I knew I had to give it a good old once-over here in the diary. Give you my unique outlook, you understand. 🙂
In the article, the author references a quote from Camille Paglia that caught my eye: “The masculine hurls itself at the feminine in an eternal circle of pursuit and flight.”
Oh, I heartily agree. If anything, I’ve always felt that some of the horror staples – vampires, werewolves – were thinly veiled metaphors for sex. Think about it. It’s all about satisfying the bloodlust. Giving in to those animal instincts. Hunter, prey. Pursuer, pursued. One of the reasons I love the show, and love that type of horror film.
I think men and women are locked in a constant battle of will and power. And I think it often manifests itself in the bedroom – which can be good or bad, depending on the people involved. Sometime this can be a negative thing, leading to withholding sex, resentment, and death of sexual desire. But when it’s good – oh, my, when it’s good! – it can be very, very good.
And I do tend to agree with her. Even given my ambivalent feelings toward the male half of the duo on the show currently having the Sex – Spike, for those of you who watch the show – I couldn’t help but be moved by the incredible raw sexuality that came off the two of them during their more, shall we say, intimate scenes.
And for those of you who don’t watch Buffy – well, come on, what’s wrong with ya? [grin]

on age and sex drive

First, turning thirty last month was no picnic. Particularly when there are such good times to look forward to in the future. Oi!
Second, a warning to any woman considering the birth control shot called DepoProvera. I was on the thing for nearly a year, and the second half of that year I didn’t notice anything wrong… but again, I did find myself masturbating less (but I was busy, I told myself), writing less erotica (just couldn’t come up with a stimulating storyline no matter how hard I tried) and just didn’t feel up to thinking about sex, much less writing about it (as you may have noticed if you’ve stopped by here recently, I imagine I’ve lost all my regular readers!) or even answering email about it. Ick. Stopped dating. Stopped taking the shots (since there didn’t seem to be much point). But I was just going through a down-phase. I thought.Until a recent news story caught my eye, that is. And that’s when I found it out.
Guess what, ladies? The very same drug – its generic name is Medroxy Progesterone Acetate – is given to pedophiles upon release from prison to “blunt” their sex drive.
Read the details here. And then view the pamphlet for DepoProvera.
If it dampens men’s sex drives, when they have so much more testosterone than women, what must it do to women?
So there you have it. No big horror stories, just a warning. If you like sex, try another method of birth control. Lowered testosterone, logically speaking (despite what the company says) will lower your sex drive. And since you’re kind of taking the shots to have more sex, not less, you’ll be working at cross purposes.