kinky web finds

Whew! Well, that was a depressing entry, wasn’t it? Never fear, I’m still the kinky perverted chick you’ve all come to know and worship. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s about time to move on to much more amusing things!

Luckily, just through my regular browsing du jour, I came across several lovely finds to share with all of you:

Dungeonbeds.com has really, really spectacular-looking bondage furniture. Really, it would be so easy to dress these up with some big soft fabrics draped over them, and no one would know that the thing exists so you can lie there suspended while your partner does naughty things to both sides of you. There’s something about bondage furniture – its form, and its function – that just interests me to no end. It just screams out for creative decorating to fool even the most suspicious types (like my Mom, for instance).

Sex and Propaganda: Really interesting essay – with lots of visual examples – of how countries use sex as a way to demoralize enemy soldiers. Plus, you know, damned pretty pictures. I know the pictures of scary men holding down nubile young things, their hands buried between the lady’s thighs, is meant to be terrifying. But they worked for me! Ahem.

AMF Korsets has some of the most unique and fantasy-laced corsets I’ve ever seen. Think the scene in the ballroom in the movie Labyrinth. Well, only a little darker. But yummy! Oh, to have a fortune… and a place to wear such trinkets.

Dark Garden, also a corset maker, is a little more traditional in its trappings – they even make wedding gowns with corsets – but some of the regular women’s corsets were stunning. My favourites? The Amazon (I *love* the colour), the Baroque (so Interview with the Vampire), the Sweetheart Longline (because I have the tits to carry it off – and look spectacular in it).

Now all I have to do is find the money… ๐Ÿ˜‰

cunni-what?

Bear with me, oh faithful reader, as I expose myself (ahem) on a level which doesn’t often happen around here – I’m all for talking about my likes, but a little squirmier talking about the sexual things that I just don’t have a handle on yet. So to speak. Kind comments welcome, bashing will just make me cry, so be gentle, please. ๐Ÿ™‚

As my regular readers undoubtedly remember, I am very ambivalent about receiving oral sex, though you might remember I love giving it. And how.

Well, truth be told, the ambivalence doesn’t just stem from the lack of friction. It also stems from a kind of “what is this the 50s? aren’t you an evolved sexual being?” thing that you really would never suspect from someone who has been writing and thinking and fantasizing about and at times even having sex over the past four years:

It’s icky.

Yes, yes, I know it’s not icky and I know I’m perfectly normal down there and I have heard and read about many men over the years who really, really love to do it, and even dated one or two who said the same thing. Although I understand all this intellectually, my visceral and emotional understanding is far different.

Part of it is the fact that you couldn’t pay me enough to do it. So it’s tough for me to imagine anyone enjoying it. Tough enough that it took me many tries to be able to write about it even partially convincingly in my erotic stories.

I have tried to get over myself about it, really, I have. But I tense up and it feels weird and I just cannot seem to relax about it. Which, really, would be all fine – I mean, not everyone has to like every act – but the idea turns me on like crazy. Reading about it is hugely erotic for me. It’s just when a man starts to head south that everything tenses up and I find myself wishing I were somewhere else.

Which, of course, also leads to it taking for-freaking-ever for me to come, if at all. I have managed over my lifetime to have a few orgasms this way, but they were always shallow and not very satisfying, and yes, I know it’s because I’m all tense about it. Shh.

I also face the awkwardness of trying to explain this to new partners. Over the years, the easiest explanation has been best – when their lips head south of my nipples, I just touch their hair, get their attention, tell them I’m not really into that, and slide my mouth down to their cock instead.

Of course, it doesn’t help that a few of the men I’ve told about this were all like, “Well, baby, you just haven’t had oral sex from me – I’ll make you cum so hard you pass out.” Ooo-kay. No pressure. If anything, this just makes me more nervous about it. I remember one spectacular failure several years ago in particular – I felt absolutely nothing. If someone had told me that I was paralyzed from the waist down, I don’t know that I would have doubted them.

I wish it were not the case. I’d love to be able to enjoy that act as much as I enjoy others.

I’ve discussed this with a couple of male friends over the years, and the general consensus is that perhaps I just need to be forced into it – and not for the purpose of orgasm, but just for the purpose of experiencing it. Not force like rape, mind you. Force as in tied up and spread open and tormented for a while.

The idea of being allowed to experience it without the pressure of imminent or eventual orgasm is an intriguing one. It would certainly take a lot of the pressure off. Ditto to the being tied up.

But my biggest problem is how to ask for this. How on earth do you approach a partner about it – especially when every man says he’s into it and not every man is telling the truth about that? I have no desire to gross a partner out by asking that he *force* me to like receiving something he may not even like to do? Really, the idea is so embarassing it makes me want to hide under the covers just thinking about it.

Oh, yes, gentle reader, I realize this indicates a far greater amount of paranoia than you generally see from me. See, I’m a girl too sometimes, full of the wiggins that come along with it. I just keep it hidden most of the time.

So, there you have it. I don’t expect you guys to solve my little issue, but I thought you’d get a chuckle out of knowing – and plus, it felt damn good to get it out in the open once and for all.

the bdsm lifestyle

Ran across an interesting set of lecture notes from a BDSM talk. While there are things in here I both agree with and disagree with, this resonated enough to want to share:

THE FANTASY: Every dominant, everywhere, must always be addressed deferentially as “Sir” (or “Ma’am,” if she is female), and possibly, obeyed as you would obey someone who actually owns you.

THE REALITY: Some dominants will hit you upside the head if you dare to address them in this way unless you know them really well. Not only does “Sir” assume a certain familiarity or the existence of a power exchange when none is actually there, but honest dominants do not want to be called by such a title unless they have, in your eyes, earned it.

Yes, yes, yes.

I find a lot of the people I’ve run across online in the last few years follow a strange (to me) set of rules for BDSM that just don’t seem to extend to the “real world”, if you will. And while it may be a gross generalization and therefore unfair, when I find someone who plays by these rules online, it generally screams “poser” to me.

My personal pet peeves from online BDSM meeting places (be it personals, chat, forums…) are, in no particular order:

1. The whole h/He s/She capitalization thing. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to lowercase myself and uppercase someone I’ve never even met out of some dimwitted form of unearned respect and trust. When we meet online, you may very well be a dominant person, and I am a submissive person, yes… but I am not yet submissive to you. I’m all for giving proper respect to my dominant partner. But this particular game leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth; I am not a doormat upon which every dominant in the world may walk. I am a person first, as worthy of respect as you are.

2. Kinky sex partners or men who just want sex any old way they can get it. Look, in general, I have no problem with the concept that some guys are willing to do whatever it takes to get laid. But again, have respect for the person who you’re contacting: if they state that they’re into this in a serious way, don’t invent stuff in your head that you think might fall into a BDSM context, just to try to convince them to sleep with you. Have a little more respect for my opinions, choices and time.

3. Self-categorized submissive men who are now so desperate for sex they’re contacting submissive women. This is a special subset of the group from my last point. I’ve been contacted by men who wanted me to dominate them and men who say they’d like to try dominating me. Meanwhile, their entire profile is set up as a submissive. Does that mean I don’t believe people can switch? Absolutely not. There are lots of switches out there. But this type of person, again – you just look like a poser so desperate for sex that you’ll try anything. And that will not get enough respect from anyone to actually get you laid. IMHO.

gay man trapped in a woman’s body

Before I get into this post, let me make the PC-correcting statement that I don’t mean to make light of real transgender issues.

That said…

I think I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. More specifically, I think I’m a leather-lovin’ bottom with a wee hankering for a big bear daddy and other male authority figures.

I’ve been looking recently at a lot of “bears”, leather daddies, and other male authority figures like policemen. And drooling a lot with the looking.

Big, hairy and stern. Damn. Gets to me every time.

Why are all these men gay? Alternatively, why do I have to be a hetero female with zip zero zilch chance with these men?

I need to find myself a nice, big, hairy, stern, hetero (or bi – I’m not choosy), flogger-carryin’ male authority figure with a hot cock, a secure lap and a strong and steady spanking hand.

Or maybe I’m just horny. ๐Ÿ™‚

sharing a fantasy: the friend

So there’s this fantasy I’ve been entertaining lately. I do not know where it came from (well, my pervy little mind, obviously, but bear with me). And I don’t know if I’d ever actually have the guts to do it, but oh how it turns me on.

You don’t mind if I share, do you? ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m with my lover. He’s managed to undress me while staying fully clothed. He’s turned me into a mass of shivering, quivering, wet flesh by teasing me unmercifully. And then he reaches over and picks up a blindfold, wrapping it securely around my head. And leaves the room.

When he returns, I hear another male voice. They’re looking at me, from the sounds of their conversation. My lover is telling the other man what a little slut I am. They’re checking out my tits, my pussy, not touching me, just talking about me and my potential for hot sweaty sex. It becomes clear, with the familiarity they show one another, that they’re friends.

Together, they use me, push and mold me into different positions, shove their cocks in every available orifice, and generally treat me like a shared plaything. And it turns me on like no tomorrow.

I know, I know. I’m an evolved (some would say feminist, but at the very least wildly independent) woman. This sort of demeaning, objectifying scene should probably horrify me. It doesn’t. In fact, it does just the opposite. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all week. I may have to write a new short story about it, just to get it off my chest.

I suppose that’s the lovely thing about fantasies. They don’t have to be politically correct. If they turn you on, it’s all good.

i swear i’m not making this up

Sure, sure, you’ve all heard the jokes about statutory rape and incest in a few states – Arkansas and Virginia come to mind – but I always kind of thought they were jokes.

Seriously.

But, apparently it’s a real problem. Big enough that the Department of Health in Virginia has launched a new ad campaign – including highway billboards – that urge men not to have sex with an underage girl. Catchphrases like “isn’t she a little young?” and “sex with a minor. don’t go there.” are all part of this in-your-face campaign.

Too funny. Just more proof that truth is stranger than fiction.

Here’s the link to the site for the campaign.

If anyone finds snapshots of the actual billboards, please send me an email. I’m dying to see them! ๐Ÿ™‚

npm. oh yeah. I’m all over it

Sometimes boys can be very silly little creatures, whining about having to look at dick on a sex blog. At least, that’s what’s been happening recently on ErosBlog when our beloved Bacchus (equal opportunity perv that he is) posted a lovely upkilt photo of a very nice Scottish cock. Not one to be bullied into a dick-free environment, he’s proclaimed June to be National Penis Month, and I for one am ecstatic. Because sure, pretty girls, fun sex stories, but really, is there a girl out there who doesn’t love looking at veiny, hard, tasty (I’m digressing here… and drooling to boot) cock?

Not this girl, that’s for sure!

So in honor of the occasion, I share this link (I posted this here last year, actually):

One of my fave cock photos ever, of two cocks chained together by a lovely little bondage device.