at first glance lust


Oh, I do love falling in lust.
You talk to him, hear his voice, imagine the things you could do to each other and everything below the waist just clenches. Fantasies are born. Your heart pounds when they’re around. Sometimes you think you could come from just a single touch, a single lick, a single word.
The sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

I have one little secret, though.
Once it’s time to do the down and dirty, odds are very good indeed that I will feel very excited, very turned on, enjoy myself thoroughly, and not come even once.
Sigh. It’s God’s great cosmic little joke on Vikki. I have a very good sex drive, love thinking about and talking about sex, love touching and kissing and licking and fucking. But I rarely ever have the ability to have an orgasm with a new partner.
Amazing, isn’t it?
It’s two things, really.
One: the trust thing. Letting down my guard.
But two, and more importantly: the touching thing. It takes a while for a lover to learn my body well enough to take me over the edge. My body is stubborn. An average touch won’t cut it. It must be an intuitive touch and that intuition comes from experience.
Here’s the thing. Those of you who’ve read my stuff for a while will not be surprised. I love the tease. I mean, I really, really love it. And it can get me going like no other thing. But the men I’ve been with don’t often get that (though I have tried to explain!). Or they don’t understand it for what it is.
I like light touches. Not the soft romantic candlelit dinner type touches. The “I know what you want and I’m not going to give it to you” touches. Barely touching. Soft circling. Imagine the lightest touch you’ve ever given. Back it off 50%. Now you’re getting the idea. And I can come from this alone, over a sustained period of time. Stepping it up after a while works, but I rarely come in a satisfying way (and yes, for women there are levels of orgasm) from a good hard rubbing.
God’s little cosmic joke gets funnier still.
Oral sex doesn’t do much for me at all. Especially at first glance lust.
Don’t get me wrong – it feels very pleasant. But it also feels like I could have it for two or three hours (!) and not come. It just doesn’t do the trick. This is not to say that I’ve never had an orgasm from this. I have. But those occasions are rare.
Funnier still. Wait for it.
When dealing with electric or battery-operated devices, things get turned around. I *can* come from these, though you’d think I’d be too sensitive to handle the vibration. Not so. But then I rarely use these devices directly. I kind of circle around, or hold them just barely above. Again, the teasing. But putting it directly there and mashing it around? Forget it buddy. You might make me squirm, but not from pleasure.
The good news is that in time the trust and the learning can take place, and most of my relationships have in time become just like everybody else’s – with both partners able to orgasm.
My dream is, of course, to eventually find that prince under the mound of mattresses who when I kiss him leaps from froghood to understand this about me from the beginning and treat my aroused and sensitive body accordingly. If he did, those trust issues would of course melt away.
Still, herein lies the source of great amusement. I love the sexual tension that surrounds the first few times with a partner, and I anticipate those times with great lust.
I just don’t come.
Joke’s on me! 🙂

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Vikki McKay
By Vikki McKay

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