This sure is a strange and digital world we all live in.
I had a number of lovers before my first husband, but that was back in the BC days (before computers – at least, for me), so for the most part I’ve never seen nor heard from them ever again.
Not so with the new digital age. By the time I left my husband, I had started on the fledgling site that would become Herdesires. I didn’t think much of sharing the URL with friends and particularly new lovers, which meant that over time there were a number of men from my past or present who knew of the web site.
I occasionally find myself wondering, particularly when telling stories from my past, if there are any exes who still read this darn thing. Not sure I really want to know – it might inhibit my storytelling. Plus, not all of the endings were pleasant, you know?
But most of all, I wonder when comments are posted anonymously to my stories. There have been dozens of them over the years that have set me to wondering – was that him? Or him? Or him? I’ll never know, but this is the kind of idle speculation I allow myself to indulge in rather than, say, watching reality television. [shudder]
For the most part, though, I write what I like and the audience be hanged. Some topics may give me a moment’s pause, but in the end, they’re my stories to tell, my thoughts to share, my explorations to cover. I don’t use names (other than the occasional nicknames – The Muse, HWTMF, The Boy) so I figure it’s all pretty harmless.
It is a little surreal, though. Kind of like public exhibitionism with a big white light in your face so you can’t really tell who’s in the audience – anyone you know might be out there. Or it might just be an empty room.
Cool little digital world we’ve built for ourselves, isn’t it?