mainstream BDSM

You know that BDSM is gaining mainstream acceptability when you begin to see charming bits of it crop up in your favourite TV shows.
Last week’s Buffy epsiode was a shocker for me. For those who watch the show, follow along. For those who don’t, you may be a bit confused, but try to stick with me here.
I haven’t really liked Spike. Legions of my girlfriends find him sexy and dangerous but honestly I just couldn’t see it. I missed Angel. I missed Riley. Nice guys. Not this pseudo-dangerous (but not with the chip in his head) wuss who was following Buffy around like a lovelorn puppy. Ick. Grow some balls, man!
But then it began. Their affair, relationship, whatever you call it. And while he may not be able to murder and be the badass vampire he used to be, there is one place he is inherently dangerous: the bedroom. Although they haven’t done it much in the room itself, if you get my meaning.
Turns out Spike has a little bit of the Dom in him. He and Buffy are laying there post-explosion when he suddenly reaches behind him and pulls out a pair of handcuffs. He dangles them in front of her and says, “Do you trust me?”.
I think my knees went numb at that point. It wasn’t just the cuffs. It was the smirk on his face when he said it.So sexy. They could have shown the two of them having full-out intercourse with all the trimmings and I wouldn’t have been as aroused as I was by those handcuffs, that smirk. Arousal begins in the mind, and it’s becoming clear what fires my thrusters.
Later (ohhhhh) he finds her on the deserted balcony of The Bronze (a bar, for those who don’t watch the show) and comes up behind her. He whispers words in her ear about belonging in the dark and no matter how much she may want to live in the light, she is hopelessly attracted to the dark. He pulls her skirt up and slides into her from behind while she watches her friends dance. He makes her watch them – no closing her eyes. She is helpless before him. She is helpless with pleasure.
He doesn’t tie her up, he doesn’t hit her, he doesn’t do a damn thing but control her with the power of his voice and her own arousal. But there is no doubt that he is the one in control.
I have flirted with BDSM but always felt like there was something missing. I have wanted a life mixed with vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. But there is no doubt that this love of the dark – like Buffy – is something that is hardwired into my brain, and I respond to it helplessly. I love a dangerous man (dangerous sexually, and not really dangerous – oh, you know what I mean). I love the dark. And I love the dark chuckle of a man who knows he has me under his spell, aroused, at his mercy.
Not to mention public places, the thrill of the forbidden. Being at someone’s mercy in public is ten times more arousing than in private. There is danger there, of being discovered, of the incredible arousal you’re feeling being exposed.
It would appear that Buffy and I have something in common.