narrow horizons

Bast suggested I check out alt.com. It’s not clear from her note whether I should be interested in the site personally or if it would make good diary fodder, but off I went to check out the site. I am nothing if not dutiful.
Yes, I’ve been thinking about expanding my sexual horizons. There’s a lot of room to move there – my sex life, for the most part, has been relatively vanilla. I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking about my limits, about what might turn me on. Erotica helps here – it allows me to watch my reactions at a safe distance without having to put myself in situations I might not want to be in yet. And I’ve found an amazing number of things that appeal to me – and some things that just don’t.
In the appealing category: wearing leather/boots or even PVC, spanking, bondage, being dominated (who knew?), anal sex, exhibitionism, trying a Brazilian wax, introducing my toys into sex play, maybe even a little pain – whip, riding crop, etc. There are a few more items here I’d rather not disclose in public, but that gives you an idea. All of these ideas are arousing to me, and I’ve discovered during my “voyage of self-exploration” that I’d be willing to try them.
In the I don’t think so category: fisting, waste products, drawing blood.
It’s a much shorter list, as you’ll see. I was feeling pretty good about myself – that my “don’t” list was so short. I really was expanding my horizons!
Er, no. Turns out I just didn’t know all the things – yet – to put on that second list. My trip to Alt.com helped immensely.
My reaction to the site was interesting, and I watched it in a detached sort of way. I was intimidated. I felt like I was looking at “true” hardcore, and everything I’d been thinking about was fluff by comparison. Took me a while to get comfortable with my “appealing” list again.
New items for the I don’t think so list, thanks to Alt.com: branding, Electrotorture (shit! people actually *do* this stuff?), piercings, diaper fetishes, asphyxiaphilia, anything that involves the word “torture” (that word has rather serious connotations in my brain)… well, you get the idea.
Turns out my horizons aren’t as broad as I’d thought. Which could be a Good Thing or a Bad Thing, I suppose. I haven’t decided yet.