off to the land of dysfunctia


Woke up this morning at 4:45 AM just like a kid. Unlike a kid, I had to have the help of a very loud, very annoying alarm clock to accomplish this. This is what happens when you put off driving to your parents’ home until Christmas morning. But despite the early hour, it’s preferable to adding more hours of visiting time to my holiday-with-parents bonanza. Trust me.
Santa didn’t come last night. I know this because when I woke up this morning I checked all over the living room, but the Muse was nowhere to be found. Damn. And here I was hoping that he’d be sitting on my couch with a big red bow and nothing else. Doesn’t that old guy from the North Pole listen? I guess there are some things even Santa can’t make happen. Sigh.
I am a quick shower and a few minutes of last-minute packing away from heading off to the land of dysfunctia. This year’s guest list is my dad, my mom, her ex-lesbian-lover, and the ex-lesbian-lover’s younger male roommate. I will be spending the next two days avoiding him since he’s got an enormous crush on me. Which would be SO much easier if my parent’s apartment was even a little bit bigger.
I just keep reminding myself of the sensual shopping spree. This and this alone will get me through. The sex shops in this city won’t know what hit ’em when I get back in town. 🙂
Merry Christmas, everyone!

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Vikki McKay
By Vikki McKay

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