the politics of sex

Ohhhh, now I swore I’d never discuss politics in this diary. Too boring, too contraversial, and really, who cares about my political leanings? But just weeks after the Bush administration took over in the U.S., I’m finding myself sitting on news reports that make me incredulous and shaking my head and wondering what the hell the world is coming to.
The new administration has released guidelines – a 24 item list of new no-no’s in porn. Put together by Attorney Paul Cambria, this list tells porn flick producers what they cannot include in their films or risk prosecution and fines.
I managed to find a somewhat more complete list on Laaid.org (a site for Internet developers of porn) and frankly it makes me sick. Reading through the list made me realize that a great many of my own personal activities, if caught on film, would be rife with illegalities. A number of more “mainstream” films (like, say, 9 1/2 weels) will also be in the list of no-no’s.
Some highlights:
no facial cum shots – I’m probably going to surprise a lot of you with this response, given how much I dislike facials, but is this really harmful? It turns men on, nobody is getting hurt, what’s the problem here? Yes, I wish that there weren’t these scenes in every single film. But legislating them out? Ridiculous.
no food as a sex object – That’s right, these perfectly harmless little cucumbers and carrots are now off limits. I’m guessing the government is trying to protect the farmers with this? No more bad reps for produce?
no peeing unless in a natural setting such as a field or roadside – Because of course location makes all the difference here…
no two dicks in or near one mouth – So much for those threesome fantasies. Keep reading. The list gets better.
toys are okay if shot is not nasty – Who defines nasty? Perhaps porn makers should keep a government agent on the set during filming just for judgement calls like these?
no hands from two different people fingering the same girl – So much for one of my all-time favourite fantasies. Dammit.
no male-male penetration, no bi-sex – !!!!!!! I cannot believe that this new administration is going to take away all gay male porn. Unbelievable.no black men/white women themes – What is this, the 1960’s? I thought we were past all that racial crap…
Can they really make this happen? Of course not. But these companies will have to pay hefty (and I do mean HEFTY) fines if they break the law. Which means more expensive porn for all of us.
A big, Long Dong Silver-sized penis thunk! on the head to the Bush administration. I have a feeling it won’t be the last…