when small toys are not enough


Reading a new article on sexy furniture on Cleansheets.com got me to thinking about all those toys you can’t bring home in a shopping bag. Is there really a market out there for furniture specifically designed for sex? Time for me to hit the research trail and find out…
Here’s what I learned: Yes, Virginia, there is a furniture shop designed just for your kinkiest and naughtiest needs. Several of them, in fact. If you have a hankering to furnish your home with truly functional furniture, I found several great places along the way that can help you out. The array was dizzying.
Now, while a lot of the furniture admittedly has a distinct BDSM slant to it, odds are that nearly anyone who loves sex will find at least one or two pieces that appeal. Frankly, looking through these sites made me truly wish for the first time in a loooong time that I lived in a house (with a handy basement I could deck out with some of these luscious items) rather than a small apartment.
Now, I know there are at least some of you asking yourselves: Furniture? For sex? Like what? Oh, let’s see, a candy-coated list that covers everything from spanking benches (oh yum) to kinky headboards with hidden “stocks”. From St. Andrew’s crosses to Medieval Stretching Racks. From something called a Crucifix chair that looked like it had lots of potential to something called the Torture Stand. Cages and tables and stocks, oh my. A veritable cornucopia of sex-crazed furniture (perfect, of course, for sex-crazed lovers).
As drool-inducing as my research was, I’ve got to be realistic, at least until I get a bigger place. While a lot of toys – from the battery-operated kind to the leather-and-metal type – are easily hidden in a closet, it’s much tougher to explain away Crucifix chairs or spanking benches. Hi, Mom, no no, come on in… just let me throw your coat on my Geni-Torture chair (honest to God, there’s a chair called this!) and I’ll make you a coffee and we can visit….Hrm. Somehow I just don’t see this happening.But for those of you with either more room than I or parents who just never visit…

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Vikki McKay
By Vikki McKay

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