Mark Morford, of course, my all-time favourite non-porn writer (though he does occasionally write for Nerve) – and have I mentioned how much I want to marry him? – has disgorged a wonderful rant on the GOP’s latest attempt to get everyone in the missionary position once a year whether they need it or not. Protection from Pornography Week (not to be confused with Marriage Protection Week, which he sounded off about a few weeks ago) is a wonderful steaming rant about the ridiculousness:
After all, porn ruins families. And communities. And children. And puppies. And the upholstery. This is the government line. This is what they would like you to believe. This is why they invented Protection from Pornography Week. Because you need to know They Care. They are on guard. Because you, as always, are under attack.
Here is the message: Despite how porn is a multibillion-dollar, record-breaking, insanely popular, widely accepted, gigglingly discussed, generally harmless, often exceedingly sexy and fun and unstoppable force of skin and fake orgasm and cheesy background music and money shots and thrust thrust thrust, it doesn’t really matter. It is pure evil, they say. And it’s coming for your children.
Unless, you know, it’s not. Unless porn remains merely that beloved slippery devil so reviled by every sanctimonious group in modern history, that final frontier of bogus moralism and excessive alarmism and puffed-chest indignation and oh my God who pray who will save the children.
I love this man. He gives me such hope that the world will not go to hell in a GOP-endorsed, deeply repressed and joyless handbasket.