the softer side of things


Well, you can’t talk about sex all the time, right?
I have a confession to make. I’m a closet Ally McBeal fan. Closet, because though this is a series for women in my demographic – career women, twenties and thirties, it also often reveals what we (career-minded, independent, I-don’t-need-no-man) women try so desperately to escape but can’t seem to, no matter how we try: we’re romantics at heart. We’re all looking for a little love, a little warmth, terrified we won’t find it, equally terrified that we will because it means our hearts are put at risk.Tonight, Ally realized that she was falling for a guy. And he’s a great guy. Seems to care about her. Has ten times the confidence she has, and one-tenth the paranoia. I was with her every step of the way – obsessing about whether he would kiss her, trying to play it aloof so as not to seem needy or neurotic. Looking at him and wanting him to look at her with a little love in his eyes more than anything else in the world. Every woman on the planet has lived this episode (most of us, she notes wryly, live it many, many times) at least once.
For now, Ally seems to have found her happiness. It won’t last, of course – this is a TV show after all, and how do you get ratings without a little turmoil? – but for tonight, she pushed down her fears, danced in his arms and felt the stirrings of hope.
We must go with our hearts. Swallow the fear and take chances. Getting hurt is a risk – but there is little chance of truly living without letting risk in.
Computers and microwaves come with guarantees, and there are lots of repair shops if your appliance gets broken. Hearts and relationships don’t come with guarantees, and the only repair shop is time. But there’s so much more to gain… I think it’s worth the risk. To get a chance at something lasting, you have to be willing to deal with the possibility that it may not last at all.
Make memories. Take the risk. I wish Ally and her new man the best of luck.

About the author

Vikki McKay
By Vikki McKay

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