voyage of discovery

I’ve been a tease my entire life. I can’t even seem to help myself. When I’m with a lover, it just seems to flow naturally and instinctively from me. Discovering what turns my lover on is as exciting a voyage as I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been a tease my entire life.
I can’t even seem to help myself. When I’m with a lover, it just seems to flow naturally and instinctively from me. Discovering what turns my lover on is as exciting a voyage as I’ve ever experienced. And once I know those little tricks, I ply my trade with every opportunity, while still searching for new ones. Even as I tell myself that perhaps I should hold back and stop teasing a little, give the poor guy a break, I find myself reaching for him again and again.
Insatiable, who me?

Continue reading “voyage of discovery”

path to greatness

What makes a lover great (for me, at least) is not the number of tricks he knows. It’s not the number of toys he owns. It’s not the smorgasbord of positions he can warp your body into during a lovemaking session. It’s not length, it’s not girth, and it has nothing to do with foreskin (with or without). It’s not the music he plays, the mood he sets, the furniture he bought especially for its suitability for long hours of rollicking sex. It’s not about the speed his tongue can achieve or the smoothness or roughness of his fingers.
It’s about one, very simple thing.
What makes a lover great is this: paying attention. And doing something with the information collected.
He takes his time. Watches for my reactions, verbal and nonverbal. Listens to the guidance I give him with my moans and gasps and shudders. Moves slowly enough to know which touch, which caress, which movement caused the reaction. Takes a note. Saves it up for later use. Mixes it up a little when he uses it on me again, just to keep me on my toes. And takes delight in every little sound he can elicit from my lips, every facial expression, every undulating movement of my body.If he has this skill, this sensitivity, he is a man who can nearly make me pass out with pleasure. With him, I can have those orgasms that make your belly hurt for a full day afterwards; all that long-drawn out tension and pleasure that, when culminated, makes you see little white stars at the corners of your vision. These are orgasms I’m usually not even capable of giving myself. It takes longer. I’m too impatient, usually; me and my little silver bullet. Which is why there will never be enough batteries in the world to usurp the delight I take in a man’s touch.
And when you find a lover like this, it makes you want to do everything for him… Return the favour. Take the time to turn good oral sex into something as spectacular as you can make it. Practice your Kegels with renewed vigor so you can squeeze and milk him toward ecstasy. Anything and everything.
Because it’s rare. I wish more men knew the secret.
Pass it on.

going down in the South

Louisiana tried. Well, at least one of their representatives tried, by adding an amendment to a bill that would get rid of the state’s oral sex and sodomy laws (both are currently illegal in Louisiana, as in many other states). The bill was, unfortunately, unanimously voted down.
I’m going to take a wild leap of faith here and assume that intense fear of “legalizing” homosexual activities was the only reason the bill was so unanimously denied. Homophobia can be a strange and insidious thing.I find it odd that oral sex and anal sex have been so closely tied in the law books, and not just in Louisiana. You’d think they’d deal with sexual activity on a case by case basis rather than blanketing several acts in one law. I suppose it holds a strange kind of logic if you work from the perspective that sex is for procreation only, and should only be between a man and a woman in the marriage bed (wish someone had told my ex-husband about that). Given that, I’m surprised that sex outside of marriage isn’t also illegal.
What I find most amusing is the thought of how this law might affect the very members of the House that voted it down. You just know those good ol’ boys must love a good blowjob now and then. I say we get the police to follow them around, in their cars, in their homes, and start arresting them for breaking the law every time they stick their cocks in someone else’s mouth. Make it a House crime wave, so to speak. Arrest after arrest after arrest, until these people break down and are forced through their own humiliation and legal bills to rethink their votes on that bill.
[Laughs] It’s a nice thought, anyway.

could sex become safe again?

The morning-after pill to prevent pregnancy has been around for quite some time. You sleep with someone and “oops” the condom breaks. No problem. Take the morning-after pill, and no little embryonic worries. It’s a great invention, particularly for women who have been raped, as its defenders are quick to point out. Its attackers tend to think that it will cause everyone to run around willy-nilly having condom-less sex with everyone, because they can take the “oops” pill and have no worries. But most people won’t do that. Because of AIDS. Why worry about something like pregnancy when you can worry about dying, I always say. 🙂
But now researchers have been releasing their findings on a new morning-after pill that could be used to prevent AIDS. The findings are pretty encouraging. San Francisco has been testing this for years on non-health care workers (I assume that means people who had high-risk sex rather than those stuck with a needle), according to the story, and not one person has contracted AIDS. That sounds pretty good. Apparently it has also worked on monkeys and a high percentage of health-care workers.
If something like this really works and becomes publicly available, we may finally be able to say goodbye to the AIDS epidemic. Think about it. Living in a world where death is no longer the possible consequence for having sex. That’s one hell of a motivator.
Of course, you just know the morality police will have a field day with this. Imagining worlds where people run about having sex with whomever they want without the fear of dire consequences. And to a degree, they might be right. The sexual conservatism that exists today is a far cry from the free-wheeling sixties and seventies. And that has a lot to do with the advent of AIDS. It changed the sexual landscape in a very major way by introducing new, frightening, and potentially death-threatening consequences. If those consequences (coupled with things like the morning-after birth control pill) are removed, how will it change sexual culture?
Yes, yes, there’s still syphillis and herpes and other nasties to worry about, you don’t have to remind me. But, these diseases existed in the sixties and seventies and you didn’t see that making a huge impact on the sexual safety choices of a generation. And with the medical advances in treatments for those STD’s since that time, I tend to think they won’t work as much of a motivator.
And let’s face it, the idea of rubberless sex is kind of appealing. I hate condoms, and my, don’t they taste nasty.
I also ran across a really well-written article on Salon that talks about how Internet censorship actually affects kids. Written by a highschool student, he talks not about how he can’t access his favourite porn sites, but how it stops him from doing real learning and real research on the school’s computers. This is the net effect of all the hype and lawmaking on obscenity and the Internet (particularly gaining strength thanks to the Bush administration). It’s really sad, and I hope more stories like this reach the ears of those who can make a difference.

what’s really obscene

Obscenity, obscenity, obscenity. Maybe if I say the word often enough it will lose its meaning and I will no longer be furious when I see community, regional and country leaders describing naked bodies and a completely natural and biological act with that word.
On the other hand, maybe I won’t.
Wired News has an article about the Bush administration and their stance on porn, both online and off. (See? Even when I avoid reading the daily sex news sites this stuff comes to me via my techno geeky news sites.) Only, of course, they don’t call it porn. They don’t call it pornography. They call it obscenity. And they’re not just talking about child pornography and bestiality sites, either. If it’s about sex and it shows it, guess what gentle reader? That’s just obscene. Apparently.
A gentleman named Bob Goodlatte was the most vocal and inspiring. Somehow this man got to be in charge of the Internet Caucus. I’d like to find the person who appointed him to that position and shoot them in the foot. He says, and I quote: “The failure of the (Clinton) administration to enforce those laws has led to a proliferation of obscenity, both online and off. And I am particularly concerned about the safety of our children on the Internet, where they’re subjected to child pornography and solicitation in a massive way.”I’m still really amazed at the number of pundits who swear that our kids are bombarded with child pornography and solicitation online. It’s really amazing. Because I’ve been online for seven years, am an adult, happen to quite enjoy porn, and don’t get bombarded with it online. Sure, I know where to go and look for it (and I do) but it very rarely comes to me without my asking. Perhaps 1-2% of the spam I receive is about sex. But I don’t read it; I delete it. I should think it would be relatively easy to also teach kids to be completely disgusted by spam (regardless of the nature of the message) and get them so used to deleting it that they don’t notice the sexual messages either. Because spam is disgusting. But I digress.
I was also reading online about the 1986 obscenity raid on Adam and Eve, a sex merchandise retailer in the US. Why are these raids called obscenity raids? What is really so obscene about a small plastic toy that takes batteries, or a movie where people enjoy their bodies and are one hell of a lot less self-conscious about it than the average Joe or Jill?
[shakes head] I’ll never understand.
I realize these are US examples, but as mentioned in my diary entry yesterday, Canadian and Ontario laws, while not mentioning the word “obscenity” so much, strike just as harsh (if not harsher) a chord against the freedom to enjoy sexually oriented material in the privacy of your own home.
Most of all, I’m concerned with the kids. Yes, from my end of the soapbox it’s still all about the kids. But my angle’s a little different. I’m worried what message we’re sending to kids when we tell them that we’re doing this for their own good, hiding obscenity from them. Of course, eventually, they’ll get a hold of this “obscene” stuff in one fashion or another. And how will they feel about their sexuality when they realize it’s just naked bodies and sex that has been declared “obscene” and that this is the nasty and horrible stuff from which they’re being protected?
I’d far rather the message be that yes, pornography exists. That’s not everything there is to do with sex. It can be better, it can be worse, but just like most things you see in the movies, it’s rarely real and real life tends to be a whole lot more satisfying.Or is that just me?

go Glad Day

Here in Toronto, a bookstore named Glad Day Books got themselves into a spot of trouble with the Ontario Censor Board. The store sells gay and lesbian books and videos, and it seems one of their videos hadn’t exactly passed the OCB’s stringent (actually puritanical on some matters, to call a spade a spade) standards and regulations.
The scene that got the video banned from Ontario? A ten-minute treatment wherein three men are bound with rope, their mouths shut with tape.
Donna Laframboise of the National Post speaks about how backward Ontario’s laws can be when it comes to porn, the ridiculous charges involved in getting a video screened before selling, and why Glad Day Books is going to fight the OCB on this.
All I can say is: go, Glad Day!
Ontario gets particularly hairy about anything that smacks of BDSM. It’s tough as hell to find anything with these overtures, which mean’s I’m relegated to either heterosexual pap complete with all the bouncing fake breasts and facials I can handle, or yummy gay porn that, while satisfying, never addresses my desire to see a man and woman on the screen. I realize that the censors (and their supporters) think that BDSM-esque films incite and encourage violence, particularly towards women, but it doesn’t have to be that way. One of the most sensual scenes I’ve ever seen in porn involved BDSM.
Of course, I saw it online. Thank God for the Internet.
She was perched, kneeling, naked, on a tastefully decorated bed. He stood before her, smiling and a little wicked. He instructed her to turn around on all fours and present her ass to him. He began slapping her back and ass softly with a suede flogger, sensitizing her skin. Every so often he’d move the flogger between her legs and flick the tips up to the little peach in between. In her voice I heard no acting; I heard the exact same noises I’ve made myself, the same jerks and twitches, the same little moans. He graduated to a heavier leather flogger, and the satisfying (though by no means harsh or brutally violent, to be clear) thumps it made across her skin made both of us jump.
He turned her over and applied the same graduation of sensation to her front, being very firm but supportive to her. His aim was incredible. I could almost feel the tips of the flogger against my own nipples as I watched. Once her whole body was nice and sensitized, he turned her in the bed and chained her face up, spreadagled, to the bed. Ran some fascinating little electrical gagdet over her which looked like those old “lightning balls” from the 80’s, only on a stick. I could see by now she was at a fever pitch. He chuckled and produced a vibrator; not those little pink plastic dildo-types that you see in what the OCB would consider “legitimate” porn, but a real, plug-in type thumper. He ran it over her body and then concentrated it on her nether bits. You could tell he was hitting all the right bits from the look on her face. While she moaned some, she was far quieter than the scream queens you see in mainstream porn. She went nearly silent as her body strained, and then she bucked and twitched in orgasm while he murmured approvingly to her, running his palm over her body.
This is the stuff I’d like to see up here. Nothing violence-inducing about it. Just something a little more, and a little more realistic, than Bunny Babes Blow Boston, if you know what I mean.Go, Glad Day. Make the world a more accessible place to be. We’re behind you 100%.

miss me?

I’ve been taking a small (well-deserved) vacation from herdesires of late, working on a new sex-related web project. Fun, but a lot of work. More details later, perhaps.
What forced me to break the silence? Another unbelievably narrow-minded news bit. I should really stop reading sex-related news. There’s always something that makes me see red. I truly (in my naive way) cannot believe that there are so many closed-minded people living here in North America in the 21st century. How is this possible? Do people time-warp here from a century ago and decide to stir things up? Perhaps they’ve been locked in a room somewhere for the last fifty years. I don’t know, but I know they exist. And inevitably, their stories land on my computer screen.
The mayor of Regina, Saskatchewan recently proclamated (oh, is that a word?) that June 18th would be Heterosexual Family Pride Day in his city. His reasons:

    “the intact heterosexual family unit is ordained by God as Clearly revealed in the Holy Bible”“large bodies of research support the conclusion that intact heterosexual families provide an excellent nurturing environment for children” (as opposed to those other nurturing environments available – argh)“intact heterosexual families provide sexual satisfaction for the men and women who are committed to them”“when monogamy is practiced, the husband and wives who enjoy sexual relations in the confines of their heterosexual marriage have no reason to worry about STD