is my sexuality truly a dichotomy?


Some days, I truly believe so. An excellent case in point is the fingers vs. tongue debate I’ve often shared with my friends. Allow me to explain. Most of my friends – female and male both – think I’m crazy because I prefer a man’s fingers to a man’s tongue any day, any place, any time, anywhere.
I just don’t always find it very easy to reach orgasm with a tongue. It requires a LOT of concentration, the moons being in the right alignment, and some perfect combination of speed and rhythm and pressure which is a mystery to me – making it that much harder to convey to my lovers. For the most part, I find lips and tongues just too soft to finish the job.
Enter the dichotomy. Reading the last paragraph, then, you’d assume I need a firmer touch, something a little raunchier that only a finger (or fingers) can provide. And yet, not true at all. What gets me off in the most powerful way is incredible teasing – light touches, barely there. To be truly successful with me, a man need never get a tired wrist or numb finger. He barely needs to move those fingers at all. The guy could be nearly asleep and still achieve the amount of pressure and movement I need to start screaming. By this tenet, you’d think it wouldn’t matter if it was a tongue or a finger touching me – if it’s that light, how could I even tell the difference? Believe me, I can.
I think it’s the friction. Fingers just give more friction than a tongue. Delightfully so.
What got me thinking on all this was a great excerpt from The Guide to Getting It On! entitled: The Zen to Finger Fucking. Excellent chapter. Makes me want to run out and make millions of copies, plaster them at coffee shops and dance clubs. Send them mass mail to the entire male population. This chapter has exactly the ingredients needed to make every lady out there walk around with a smile on her face – and she wouldn’t need a tongue to get it.
Or maybe that’s just me. Far be it for me to rob other women of their favourite tongue! 🙂

About the author

Vikki McKay


  • I think it’s the control. One can be much more precise with a finger than a tongue. Trying to serve a clit with the tongue is like trying to clean the mirror with a beanbag chair. You’re liable to miss a spot.

  • I know it is not easy but I just love sucking women’s vulva. It is such an intimate activity. I feel like I cannot get closer to a woman’s body as doing cunnilingus to her untill she really comes in my mouth. Is this sick or just a matter of taste? Well, I don’t care. It is always a great psychological pleasure to me. I’ll do it to you if only you allow me, anytime…

  • I feel the same! I definitely prefer my partner’s fingers over his tongue any day – I’ve only ever come from head once.

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