I’ve got to say, I love getting comments on here – keep ’em coming! Particularly when you’ve also got a kinky blog; I’ve found a few great sites recently, often because of sites left in comments or sites that my commenters link to in their own blogs.
Newest finds, all duly added to the sidebar:
The Journey – Ran into this one through Danae’s kind comments. It’s her “Master’s” site, and I found it really, really fascinating reading, particularly his Keys post. It’s always so fascinating for me to read what dominants say and think and feel, because it’s just so different to how my brain works. I’ve got a lot of back-reading to do on this one, to catch up.
Letters to an Angel – Another dominant’s blog, found via Neko’s kind comments. Still pretty new, and I don’t normally link to these until they’ve been up and constant for a few months (linkrot in the sexblog community is almost worse than in the general population at large – or so it seems at times) but a lot of what he’s written really hits home with me. It goes back to what I said here, about trusting someone enough.
Captive Heart – Yes, I know, this one’s been around for a while and I’ve read it off and on, and kept meaning to link to it. Many of my commenters link to it, which jogged my memory recently and shame on me for just getting around to it now! I do so enjoy reading about the escapades of Katy and her Master – though I will admit (see above two links re: fascination with the thinking of a dominant) that I enjoy her Master’s posts more. I just wish he’d post more, not that I don’t love what Katy has to say. 🙂
I really should find more good blogs written by d/s couples or dominants alone. Any suggestions for me?
Your wish is my command. Err, no, waitaminute — that isn’t right.
I may have posted something on Captive Heart in response to your request.
I’ve found very very few couples diaries. I actually just found your diary on a google search. I have a list of diaries linked from my own site you may or may not be interested in.
might want to take a look at…
http://edgeliving.blogspot.com/
Who has time to blog?
I’ve been in relationship with my wife for about six years now, after a difficult vanilla marriage and divorce. When I set out to find someone the second time, I was clear that it had to be someone kinky, someone submissive, and someone out to be in a relationship on that basis. I visited the IRC chat rooms, the gor rooms, the websites, all the usual and not so usual online spots.
I met her online. Her profile indicated she was looking for a good spanking. (I found out later she put that in there to pique my interest… that she’d never really had a good spanking) We met for coffee, we talked about negotiations, safe words, safety calls, the whole thing. Then we had a play date. And another… and another.
Somewhere in there we fell in love. She had tickets to go to england to see a boyfriend. She came back clear that I was the one she wanted.
We got involved in the scene here in the SF Bay area. We became reasonably well known. We went to a lot of parties. A lot of people say we have ‘amazing energy’… or that we’re ‘very experienced’ or that we have ‘really worked out the communication issues’… etc.
What was really so for us was simple… our relationship was not a scene relationship. Its based on love. So, we got married. People say that we’re 24×7 … or that it’s a TPE relationship… or that’s it’s a Master/slave deal. The last may be closest, but it’s really just this.
We have an old fashioned marriage, with wild kinky sex thrown in on top. 🙂
I’m the boss, the breadwinner, the plumbing repairer, the spider murderer, the late night sound checker. She’s the nurse, the cook, the domestic. She’s also now a mom, and a mom to be. We’re both really happy.
We’re clear that this is the relationship of our lives. We fight, but we fight fair. I get the last word, and she likes that. Note I don’t say ‘she lives with that’ or ‘she agrees to that’… she *likes* that I have the last word. Sure, some times it grates on the natural human desire to be right or get the last word, but she likes the way it works for us.
I do get the last word, but I also acknowledge when I am incorrect. I own up to my mistakes, my blunders. I can laugh at myself. She can laugh at me. There is no ‘domly persona’ to be injured… I’m just me, and she’s just who she is. She’s equal to and more than equal to everyone else in the world, just not me. By agreement, by design.
So, here we are, living a typical suburban married life with kids. We love it.
What’s there to blog about?
The discipline thing we have worked out pretty well. When I punish her, it’s either a spanking over my knee when the infraction is small, or simply informing her that she has upset and disappointed me with her actions. My disappointment and upset is the real punishment. It drives her to distraction when its clear that I’m upset with her about an issue. It gets talked out and worked out pronto. It’s never failed us in six years. We dont go to bed angry.
When we play, we have all the usual toys… ropes, whips, candles, needles, you name it. Sometimes we play hard, sometimes soft. When its harsh play, its mostly for me, and she willingly submits to what I want. When its softer play its often for her, and I willingly play that way.
It’s clearly a power dynamic based relationship. When we met and started dating, I told her I’d be training her ass for my use. She’d never been into anal play, and didn’t think it was fun or even really possible. Fast forward six years…. she’s a fully participating ass slut.
My latest project is starting to train her throat. She has a strong gag reflex, and this may turn out to be another long-term project. I don’t mind though, she’ll be mine for a long long time.
Greg