I am a smartass around men (some people just call this flirting, but it’s more than that, really). Most men, actually. Doesn’t even matter if I’m attracted to them or if I just work with them or if we’re just friends, it’s how I relate to them, how I get along with them, how I gauge what kind of person they are. But, as you might expect, I seem to be even more of a smartass with men I find attractive. It’s not like I do it on purpose. It’s just me.
It suddenly occurred to me today that one of the biggest reasons I am an outrageous smartass around men is that I secretly, subsconsciously hope that one of them, one day, will reach a point where enough is enough already and they will show their impatience and back me up into a wall and take my mouth with theirs to shut me the hell up.
And when I find the man that actually does this, that counters my smartassness with not just laughter or appreciation but with a searing kiss and the threat of his body, that’s when I’ll know I’ve come closer to finding the man of my dreams than I ever have before.
Wouldn’t you think I should already know this about myself? Sure. Particularly after my year or so flirting with BDSM. But sometimes these realizations take a while to bubble up and become part of your consciousness.
Dang, just stumbled across this and reading this really took me aback. I am also the same way with guys, friends, co workers, etc. I have also envisioned this happening…my snarky comments followed by a hard squeeze way up my thigh, or a gentle nudge against the brick wall and fingers groping…
Anyhow, thanks, you certainly awakened something in me…
Hi Serena, thanks for adding your comments! I would have to agree that firm fingers also fit right into my little fantasy. I wonder why there aren’t more men out there who just do things like this out of the blue. We need more men like this! 🙂
girl,thats what i want a boy to do to me too!!!
girl,thats what i want a boy to do to me too!!!
I’ve thought about something like that at times and I suppose I could try that at work but if even 9 out of 10 times the women wanted it (not likely) that one who didn’t could pretty well mess up my life — and quite possibly my balls to start with, so I think that will stay in the realm of fantasy.
As other people have said, this is just waaayy too risky to try with someone who you’re not sure wants it. I’ve found the best way to live out fantasies like this is to use telephone chatlines to meet people – somehow talking to someone on the phone doesn’t feel like meeting them “in real life”. You can discuss all these sorts of fantasies, and plan exactly how you want them to work before actually meeting.
I sent an email about this to Pagan at Peep Show Stories which she was kind enough to publish. Have a look here for the letter from English Guy:
http://www.drmenlo.com/pss/2003_07_02_archive.html
I am the exact same way around guys! To have a guy react that way would be the ultimate fantasy. I always have a sarcastic comment to throw at them and just love to see how they react but have yet to be shut up with a passionate kiss up against a wall. That would be beautiful.
Oh my God, just found your site, and of all the moments that I’ve been taken aback, this entry hit me the hardest. I’ve identified submissive for a few years now, but it seems the self discoveries are never done. Of course no one’s really going to back me up to the wall and take me just to get me to shut up and be serious, but you’re right, it’s all about pushing buttons and limits, to find the man who will say “NO, that’s enough, now behave.”
Sabina’s got it right on the money with this statement – “now behave”. That’s on my top ten list of favourite things to hear from a man. 😉
The reason guys don’t do this, is they’re risking being locked away in jail for it