ripped from today’s headlines

Ran across a new site while visiting Jane’s Guide this week, called Naked News. OK, I had to admit to some curiousity, so I stopped in for a peek.
Well, it’s what it says. It’s the news – just like the kind you watch with your family, with anchors and special correspondents, only with a twist; they’re all naked.
For now, at least, they’re also all female (pout), but I digress.
I clicked the speed and format of the news delivery I wanted, and settled back in my chair. A cute little “Naked News” intro and then you see an attractive, fully dressed anchor begin to spew today’s headlines. Before she’s finished the lead story, she’s starting to undo the buttons on her blouse. The next several stories are covered as she begins removing clothing – skirt, blouse, then bra and panties.I watch in fascination. It’s kind of like a car accident – you can’t help yourself from looking.
By the time she’s removed all her clothing, I realize I haven’t listened to a damn word she said. Something about plastic surgery, something about the Al Gore/George Bush fiasco, yadda yadda yadda. I was too busy watching her undress. Not only is it strange to see all the skin appearing, I realize that just the movements themselves are distracting – might just be the reason why most news anchors are lifeless torsos that barely move an inch while divulging the day’s events. I can’t imagine that I’d be the only one who feels this way. While I can see that many may come here for the “news”, as it were, will they really leave educated?
On the plus side, these ladies are very attractive, so if you find yourself bored by looking at Dan Rather, this might be an alternative for you to get your daily dose of news.
To the people behind Naked News, I have one piece of advice: get a male correspondent! 🙂

sometimes women can be absurdly stupid

Working from home today, I found myself listening to a dizzying variety of music – new rock, old rock, Rocky Horror Picture show tunes, dance, electronic, just about everything under the sun. I like a good mix while I’m slaving away at the keyboard.
Halfway through the “set”, Amanda Marshall’s wonderfully smoky voice came on, singing about love. A snippet from one of her songs caught my fancy as I inserted SSIs and declared style classes:

somebody told me love makes you stupid
makes you go crazy, makes you go blind
comes uninvited and leaves when it wants to
calls you at midnight and ties up your line
but it’s oh so sweet when it’s right
and you swear that you won’t but you might
gotta fumble in the dark
if you want to see the light

It got me to thinking about power, and love, and sex, and the difference between the way that men and women both view and conduct themselves in these areas. So many of these songs – and indeed, so many relationships – feature the man in power. We wait for him to call, for him to decide he likes us, for him to pursue whatever level of relationship he feels comfortable with. It’s a buyers’ market with the men doing the buying (active) and the women doing the selling (passive).
It’s really very sad, and is the main reason behind why songs like Amanda’s feature phrases like “love makes you stupid sometimes”. These words ring true to so many women. Read a great book a month or so ago by Sandra Shamas, and in it she mentions that when she falls for a guy, she hands her brain over to the nearest available person – since she obviously won’t be needing it for a while. Any women out there identify with that statement?
Over the past year, I’ve had the luck to experience the gamut of the buyers and sellers market – I’ve done my share of the passive selling, and I’ve also had opportunity to be in a buyer’s position as well. No wonder men like it so much. It’s dizzying, powerful, fearless. Guy #1 not attracted to you? That’s OK… guys number two, three and four aren’t so picky, and they’re handy as well. You just have to choose. And there can many times be just as much fun in the choosing as in the getting. More women should really experience this. And if you’re not sure how, I’ll give you a tip: get yourself into a position where the men outnumber the women. Goes a long way towards tipping the scales and turning a seller into a buyer.
No heavy conclusions to draw here, just some random thoughts during an HTML break. Back to the grind. Cheers.

one more for the now-I’ve-seen-everything file

Most guys I know love to be able to snuggle down between a pair of breasts, slide their face in there, and fall asleep (if they can do so without being smothered).
I think it’s a maternal thing. Sure, when guys are awake and all sexed up (which are synonymous, right?), breasts are tits and they’re a sex object, something they get great voyeuristic pleasure from watching bounce (think Baywatch), a place they can arouse and delight their woman. But when the sleepies come, they’re not so much such objects as delightfully soft pillows they can rest between. And I do think, unspoken and subconsciously, they’re a reminder of the last time they felt all warm and secure: between their mother’s breasts.
Well, single dudes need no longer curse their independent status; they can rest between boobs even without a lady sharing their bed.
Enter Tit Pillows.
Oh, I got a good giggle from this one. Can you imagine being invited back to some bachelor’s pad and finding one or two of these pillows adorning their bed? Would you make a run for it? Double over laughing? Offer him the real thing to sleep between?The human capacity for inventiveness and strangeness never ceases to amaze me. 🙂

the Maxim hoopla

Many guys I know swear by Maxim magazine. They love the damn thing, pore over it more closely than the latest Penthouse or Hustler. I figured it was for the hot chicks. And, they agree, I’m right, but there’s more to it than that.
They love the articles about sex. And the few I have known (either carnally or through talking to my girlfriends whose men read the mag) who read these articles are more sensitive lovers with tricks up their sleeve that can have you screaming in no time. One of my girlfriends actually looks forward to (and keeps track of) when the new issue comes out, because she knows she’s in for some fabulous lovin’ from her man.
OK, I’m a skeptic. So I decided to hop on over to their web site to see if I could figure out what all the fuss was about.You know what? They’re right.
Ran across a few articles I’d like to have laminated and pass out to future dates:

These are just examples. They have dozens of back articles online that are really worth reading.
What makes the articles so good? Female input. Some articles are written by women, some just use female feedback in them, but ALL of them give you the straight goods on what women really like and want.
They’ve done it. I’m a Maxim convert. If I had a regular guy, he’d be getting a gift-wrapped subscription of this mag for a Christmas gift. What a wonderful world it would be if all men read (and APPLIED) these tasty tidbits!

cool 101

Now before you jump to conclusions, this is decidedly NOT an intro to how to be cool. You won’t find any glorious tidbits on how to be casual and loose. Believe me when I say I wish you would. But it’s just not gonna happen.
I figure it’s time to start letting out some of the warts. If you’ve been reading this diary for a bit, you’ll notice I try to keep the majority of my warts to myself, assuming that few people would want to read about my neuroses and failings. But, hey, it’s a diary. And after two months or so, I’m feeling a little like we’ve been dating for a while and it’s okay to let you know I fart (see Ally McBeal confession).
Metaphorically speaking.
Truth is, with the men I know and/or date, I can generally speaking be as cool and collected as I want. I tend not to get those “he didn’t call me” or “he’s really gonna hurt me so it’s time to pull out the poker face” neuroses. I’m pretty patient and pretty understanding and not looking for hidden meanings or any of that other girly shit.
That is, unless the guy really starts to mean something to me.
Enter the fart (try and stick with the metaphor here).
Today en route to work, the elevator doors opened and it was him.
You know the “him” (read: the Muse). Every woman has had a “him” in their life. The one whose story always begins with “There’s this guy…”.
Anyways, my behavior around this guy tends to be quixotic at best. Some days I’m all girly and loopy and soft smiles. Other days I’m “playin’ it cool”, a little offhand, not willing to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s getting to me. And my degree of “cool” is always in direct correlation to how vulnerable I’m feeling that day about the whole thing.
Today, feeling a little vulnerable, the “cool” behavior came out. I swear to God I do not plan this stuff.Sigh.
It’s not a game. Honestly. It’s more like those lizards that change color when a predator is near – they change out of self-preservation. That’s me. One little psychotic lizard.
Of course, the real kick is that I don’t know how to act cool around this guy. So my “cool” ends up coming out something along the lines of offensive. Ugh. And double ugh to the having to make amends for my psychotic farting lizard behavior.
At 29, I should be able to do better than this. If it wasn’t for other women like the Editrix, I’d be convinced that I and I alone am suffering from some rare and incurable psychological disease. But apparently it’s a gender thing.
I’ll work on it, and let you know how it turns out.

vikki in love

I remember with misty fondness the year I discovered the web, more than five years ago. I gorged myself on the offerings of the meagre web, spending hundreds of hours online, determined to see each and every web site there was to see. Yahoo (still housed on Standford’s servers) was a staple of my life.Over time, my browsing patterns changed, both from exposure and from the rapid exponential growth of the Internet. I spent time looking for good sites. Before long, my browsing patterns became even less frequent, serving only to find the information I was looking for and as quickly as possible. Only a dozen times or so in the past few years have I found a site that enthralled me enough to make me want to stick around, discover every nook and cranny, and keep coming back for more.
Today’s find, a new site called Libida, finds itself in that rare category of sites I want to gorge on, a site I will visit time and time again for updates and info and enjoyment. It bills itself as “The Spot for Female Sexuality”, and it’s truly wonderful. Feature articles and erotica, opinions, and a delightful ecommerce site. Everything is so well integrated it makes me wonder why nobody has accomplished such a site for women, until now.
Finds from the Libida site I’d like to share: a wonderful short erotica piece called Playing in the Park. If this is the quality of erotic writing they intend to keep up, I’ll be a devoted fan for a long time. Delicious.
Also found a line on a new book, Forbidden Erotica, which I MUST buy. Looks like exactly what I’m looking for to add to the collection.
Finally, I also found a new item for the holiday wish list… I can’t believe I forgot to add this earlier! The Remote Panty, of course… just like the one featured in the story The Lovers, Part One: The Gift I wrote last year. Needless to say, I’d also like a naughty man in my life who’d be willing to hold the remote and tease me unmercifully…
That may be a little big for Santa to fit down the chimney, however. <grin>
At any rate, check this site out!!!

more holiday shopping

OK, so I was bored. Decided to check out other fun items for the holiday wish list.

    sexy, Martha Stewart style – okay, this isn’t the Martha Stewart site, though you wouldn’t be able to tell by looking around. Apparently a few naughty bits (Kama Sutra items, mostly) have gone mainstream enough to include in a classy site like this. I was intrigued by their exclusive chocoholics body frosting which comes with two small paintbrushes to allow you to paint to your heart’s desire. Three jars, different flavours including, of course, chocolate. Wish I could taste these treats first though, try before you buy is definitely a plus when it comes to edible playthings.
    i’d never buy it for myself – but this was intriguing. A vibrating cock, standing. Adjustable. You can sink yourself right down on it and hump away to your heart’s content. Would I ever buy it for myself? Probably not. If someone gave it to me, would I use it? You bet yer sweet bootie! 🙂

The last item is not so much for the wish list so much as for the now I’ve seen everything file. A cocksucker’s mirror – it actually slips over the penis and balls so you can watch yourself go to work. Why is this necessary in life? If I want to watch, I’ve got lots of mirrors. Truth be told, though, I’d rather watch his face while I’m slurping away than my own. I suppose it might be helpful to perfect those Penthouse “I’m sucking your cock and don’t I look like a sexy tramp” looks but honestly, it looks a little silly to me!
I’d take the guy in the picture, though… <grin>

the softer side of things

Well, you can’t talk about sex all the time, right?
I have a confession to make. I’m a closet Ally McBeal fan. Closet, because though this is a series for women in my demographic – career women, twenties and thirties, it also often reveals what we (career-minded, independent, I-don’t-need-no-man) women try so desperately to escape but can’t seem to, no matter how we try: we’re romantics at heart. We’re all looking for a little love, a little warmth, terrified we won’t find it, equally terrified that we will because it means our hearts are put at risk.Tonight, Ally realized that she was falling for a guy. And he’s a great guy. Seems to care about her. Has ten times the confidence she has, and one-tenth the paranoia. I was with her every step of the way – obsessing about whether he would kiss her, trying to play it aloof so as not to seem needy or neurotic. Looking at him and wanting him to look at her with a little love in his eyes more than anything else in the world. Every woman on the planet has lived this episode (most of us, she notes wryly, live it many, many times) at least once.
For now, Ally seems to have found her happiness. It won’t last, of course – this is a TV show after all, and how do you get ratings without a little turmoil? – but for tonight, she pushed down her fears, danced in his arms and felt the stirrings of hope.
We must go with our hearts. Swallow the fear and take chances. Getting hurt is a risk – but there is little chance of truly living without letting risk in.
Computers and microwaves come with guarantees, and there are lots of repair shops if your appliance gets broken. Hearts and relationships don’t come with guarantees, and the only repair shop is time. But there’s so much more to gain… I think it’s worth the risk. To get a chance at something lasting, you have to be willing to deal with the possibility that it may not last at all.
Make memories. Take the risk. I wish Ally and her new man the best of luck.

randomness

After a catastrophic crash of my home computer that left me in disconnected limbo for nearly a week, I’m back in the saddle (okay, okay, desk chair) again.
Nothing too in-depth to discuss today, but I did want to share a few random thoughts and finds:
1. porn spam: Does anyone read this stuff? Honestly, how successful can it be? I got 25 HTML email porn spams just this afternoon and have come to the conclusion that the average email user must be deeply stupid in order to not recgnize this stuff for the junk that it is. You’ll get a better quality offering by doing a search for “sex” in any search engine – and that’s saying a LOT.
2. sex speak: People love little quotes in their .sig file. I never seem to have the time or the patience to hunt down ones I truly like, but if that’s your bag and you’d like some sex-related ones, there’s a great little search engine here that can help you out.
3. written tendencies: OK, I’ve had a burning desire to try my hand and writing a full-length erotic novel. On a whim I stopped by the Black Lace Books site to see what was up, and it turns out they do accept unsolicited manuscripts. My little mind is teeming with possibilities. Once the holidays are past, I may give it a try.
4. spanking for newbies: Recently had my first-ever (sex) spanking. Funny how I spent so long worrying about how much it would hurt and if it would turn me off. When it finally happened, my primary reactions were that it didn’t last long enough, and I would have liked it even harder.5. dominance: Didn’t realize how accustomed I am to being the dominant or pseudo-dominant partner until I was with someone with similar tendencies. It’s tough to give up the reins. I’m still holding out for my fantasy of being totally dominated by a man, but I think it’s going to take more concentration than I thought to lie back and let someone else do the dictating – or dick-tating, as it were. 🙂

oh, the weather outside is frightful…

Okay, so it’s not exactly frightful (yet) but the holiday season is nearly upon us. Time to start thinking about what naughty little boys and girls want in their stockings this Christmas. Thought I’d get started on my yuletide wish list early this year. An exercise in futility, you might say, since I’m single for the holidays, but maybe I can store my goodies away like chipmunks in winter and bring them out to play when I’m not so single anymore.
Naughty things I’d like this year:

    bondage tape – this stuff looks delightfully useful in so many ways. Only adheres to itself so there’s no chance of it pulling out hair or pulling on skin. Red Geraniums sells a 65 foot roll (!!!) for $19. Yum.
    inflatable bondage bed – yes, I do have a wrought-iron bed that should work well for bondage, but there’s something a little naughty about having a blow-up bed specifically for that and that alone. Adult Toy Chest sells it, and it’s a little pricey, but this is a wish list, right? Why not.
    leather corset – it’s tough to find the exact one I want online, but this one at Lisa’s Leather is close. I’d want something a little lower cut, though. Cleavage is never a bad thing.
    something seasonal – OK, i admit it, I’ve always wanted something in red velvet. This delicious little ensemble at the Adult Toy Chest would so fit the bill. I’d have to pick up some naughty red heels to go with, but how is that a Bad Thing? 🙂
    butt plug – so I’m curious. I haven’t actually used one of these but I have this little fantasy where I have it, and a man, inside at the same time. Hmm. Well, as I said, it’s a wish list…
    create-a-mate – oh, this is fun! It’s a casting set that allows you to take a rubber mold of your lover’s penis – the shape, size are an exact match. If your lover can’t always be with you, at least his cock can!
    spanish fly – I can’t find this online, but a friend tried this recently and assured me it was the most intense 2 1/2 hours of lovemaking they’ve ever had. For two and a half hours, I’d be willing to pay a LOT! <grin>
    leather and fur flogger – combining the sensual texture of fur with the excitement of leather straps against your skin. Again at Adult Toy Chest. I love that place.Yum.

Well, that’s a good start to the holiday wish list. Have you started your list yet?